need to know

so my cousin, missy, put together 'the perfect playlist' and shared it with her bloggie friends (& family). she was definitely on the right track from what i saw and i was inspired to create a playlist of my own. so, i consulted my "awesome" playlist and cut it down to the ten most necessary songs as of right now.

a necessary playlist:
1. One Shot- O.A.R. : besides the awesome sound, this song is my inspiration to be happy and persevere in spite of all the potential for anger and negativity.
2. How Long- Kenny White : i hate george w. bush? this song embodies my anti-bush sentiment and fuels my anticipation for obama's presidency. it is beautiful political angst.
3. Gamble Everything For Love- Ben Lee : this song reminds me of my amazing boyfriend; i miss him. this song is love.
4. Even If It Kills Me- Motion City Soundtrack : this song is my current life situation, minus the line about '1995'. it reminds me why i am not going to break down.
5. More Time- NeedToBreathe : besides embodying my love for p.s. i love you, this song doesn't pertain to my life. it is unnecessary, but still on the playlist. :)
6. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk- Rufus Wainwright : this song is excess.
7. Chocolate- Snow Patrol : i can't listen to this song without remembering the good times with some great people.
8. Puke- Eminem : puke is green. i hate green(!) and i also hate the great injustices of the world.
9. Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was- Radiohead : i'm an emo kid. this song calms me down and has a very sobering effect.
10. What I Got- Sublime : no matter what mood i find myself in, this song always makes it better..."life is too short, so love the one you got."

i'm starting to think that things are going to change.

diplomatic,
emma

525,600 minutes

i have this calendar in my room (of course it's grey's anatomy themed) that for the last three years of my life i have done a great job of x'ing off each day as it passes. it occured to me today that i needed to change the month to february and this is when i realized that i haven't 'x'd' any days for the last 2 & 1/2 weeks of my life...on january 15th I lost track of the days. not a big deal, but with a track record of knowing exactly what day it was for three years, it's a shock to my system. i miss being able to cross off the days as they passed with the anticipation of what was to come. graduation, trips to california, new grey's anatomy episodes, days off from work, days dedicated to fun, the end of the summer, the beginning of college.

now my calendar is littered with speech tournaments, busy weekends, homework nights, and blank space that will inevitably be filled with speech or homework. i have to block out hours for sleep and i have to write in my agenda the word "eat."

this "new chapter" of my life is so crazy , i can't wrap my mind around it. the best way to describe this life is that i am a deer caught in the headlights...luckily all the cars thus far have swerved and not resulted in my destruction.
but this weekend, i have resolved to take back my life. tonight i'll go out on date night with k.sig, tomorrow i will do homework during the day but then spend the evening with my ah-may-zing boyfriend (who is driving 3 hours to get here), and sunday i will eat breakfast with whatever friends want to hit up the ihop with me, do homework, and do some lighthearted practicing of speech with waitmen. that's right, just under 48 hours of speech-free life that i intend to bask in.

missing the suburbanites,
emma