525,600 minutes

i have this calendar in my room (of course it's grey's anatomy themed) that for the last three years of my life i have done a great job of x'ing off each day as it passes. it occured to me today that i needed to change the month to february and this is when i realized that i haven't 'x'd' any days for the last 2 & 1/2 weeks of my life...on january 15th I lost track of the days. not a big deal, but with a track record of knowing exactly what day it was for three years, it's a shock to my system. i miss being able to cross off the days as they passed with the anticipation of what was to come. graduation, trips to california, new grey's anatomy episodes, days off from work, days dedicated to fun, the end of the summer, the beginning of college.

now my calendar is littered with speech tournaments, busy weekends, homework nights, and blank space that will inevitably be filled with speech or homework. i have to block out hours for sleep and i have to write in my agenda the word "eat."

this "new chapter" of my life is so crazy , i can't wrap my mind around it. the best way to describe this life is that i am a deer caught in the headlights...luckily all the cars thus far have swerved and not resulted in my destruction.
but this weekend, i have resolved to take back my life. tonight i'll go out on date night with k.sig, tomorrow i will do homework during the day but then spend the evening with my ah-may-zing boyfriend (who is driving 3 hours to get here), and sunday i will eat breakfast with whatever friends want to hit up the ihop with me, do homework, and do some lighthearted practicing of speech with waitmen. that's right, just under 48 hours of speech-free life that i intend to bask in.

missing the suburbanites,
emma